A couple of weeks ago, I started university again. I'm taking classes again and it feels so weird to go from having a "job" and almost complete agency over my time to being in school where, of course, there are rules, and expectations, and the whole "social life" thing here depends on what fucking Greek Houses ended up accepting you. That is not to say that you can't build real friendships here, but it's hard. It's hard and also exhausting and I'm not sure I want to feel like that anymore.
When I left to be off for 3 months, I thought I was going to hate my time away from here, but I didn't. I really came to appreciate my time off-campus and the freedom that comes with doing something on your own.
I also just started seeing someone. I also just started writing again. Are these correlated? I'd like to think not, but they might be. He just looked at me. He's sitting across the table. He's cute.
Anyways, this small town kills me sometimes. Most of the times, actually. I'm not sure what to do about it, because I think I like the chokehold, I like the warmth of familiar hands around my neck even if what they want to do is kill me. I'd rather be killed by this warmth than embraced by a stranger anytime.
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